IR: Courtship, Accountability, and Performance Art Intimacy

I've been quiet here since I've been traveling, driving solo from DC to LA, but the other night I had the happy experience of an evening with Sarah and Micah Murray, and we talked a lot about our stories and processing the conservative Christian world we've come out of. And I had a flash of epiphany this morning … Continue reading IR: Courtship, Accountability, and Performance Art Intimacy

These are my scars

Hi. I'm tardy. But that's okay, right? We're all messy here. You wouldn't believe this week. But I'm going to rest this weekend. It's so needed.  Tonight I offer you my post for SAAW day 2! I'm going to write this SAAW response now, and then write the day 3 response tomorrow, if I can. … Continue reading These are my scars

SAAW guest post: Brian’s story

When Brian contacted me on Monday offering to guest post, I wasn't sure what to expect. But I was in for a treat and so are you. Brian's a good storyteller and doesn't have his own blog, so I'm delighted to be able to share his testimony of surviving spiritual abuse. We need more men … Continue reading SAAW guest post: Brian’s story

Sit down and shut up, Challies

I'm glad this happened on my lunch break so I can say something right now while I'm angry. Yes, angry.  I was going to do day 3 of FemFest and do a link-up, but I think you'll forgive me for skipping it because "someone is wrong on the internet!" Seriously, though. This is important.  Dear Tim … Continue reading Sit down and shut up, Challies

SGM lawsuit: what feeds the crazy?

So, there's this lawsuit against the denomination (or in their lingo, the "movement" or "family of churches") that founded the cult-like church I grew up in, where the leaders are being accused of deliberately obstructing justice and preventing sexual abusers of children to live without consequences while making the children "reconcile" with their abusers. I … Continue reading SGM lawsuit: what feeds the crazy?

Haunted

[This is one of the promised posts about why I chose the name "Wine & Marble." Communion has been a huge part of my spiritual life and binds me to Christianity in a way I can't really understand or explain. I'll tell my story and perhaps begin to work it out.] Sometimes I wish I … Continue reading Haunted

When you haven’t been hurt

Sometimes I wonder how I sound to the rest of the evangelical world, to those who weren't subjected to fringe patriarchal teachings from grace-forgetting complementarians, those who never fought the fear that comes with legalism from your pulpit, those who don't have to shake the guilt hangover from their childhood churches or Christian communities. Those … Continue reading When you haven’t been hurt

Immodesty Rail: Modesty and Lust

This is a less documented, more anecdotal post, as a result of my discovery a few days ago that all my books on this subject are in storage. I think I did that deliberately because I was tired of reading things that made me angry. So, this post won't have a ton of sources, but … Continue reading Immodesty Rail: Modesty and Lust

Be patient with yourself.

Coming out of a spiritually abusive situation is incredibly difficult. The first and biggest step  is seeing the abuse for what it is and allowing yourself name it. Saying, "this isn't normal; this shouldn't be this way," is the watershed moment which allows you to begin see what's wrong and why. After my moment, I … Continue reading Be patient with yourself.