Love, fundamentalism, and endings

“Love and abuse cannot coexist.” - bell hooks. It’s been over a year since I first read bell hook’s masterful treatise on love, All About Love: New Visions.  The book called to and was answered by changes stirring in my heart, little epiphanies cracking the surface of my reality, and it was the catalyst for … Continue reading Love, fundamentalism, and endings

I have not yet begun to be proud.

Okay, so, basically, my blog is currently useless if you're not familiar with Brené Brown's work on shame, especially Daring Greatly. Just get a copy already. [On another note, I'm still working on a follow-up to my post on leaving fundamentalist thinking, but I've moved this week and had a family member in the hospital and … Continue reading I have not yet begun to be proud.

IR: Agency

One of the things that has been a constant struggle for me, as a woman leaving the world of Christian patriarchy, has been reconciling reality to my learned "right" responses. I have to be gutsy and take charge of my life and heed my personality type and my needs and make sure I'm living in … Continue reading IR: Agency

The good things: thankfulness link-up

I think it's silly how so many of us took to the blogs when the Church gatekeepers wouldn't listen to us, and how so many of us are now so invested in policing each other. To counter that, I'd like to talk about this year. This year has been terrible, you all know that. My … Continue reading The good things: thankfulness link-up

IR: Courtship, Accountability, and Performance Art Intimacy

I've been quiet here since I've been traveling, driving solo from DC to LA, but the other night I had the happy experience of an evening with Sarah and Micah Murray, and we talked a lot about our stories and processing the conservative Christian world we've come out of. And I had a flash of epiphany this morning … Continue reading IR: Courtship, Accountability, and Performance Art Intimacy

Being seen, being heard

"I just don't feel heard," she texted me. "I know, but I hear you," I thought. *** Awkward silence was the norm in the kitchen at one place I worked. You'd slip in for coffee or water or your lunch, and shuffle around each other with cringing politeness and fumble for what you came for in … Continue reading Being seen, being heard

IR: Jori’s story

I'm on a roll on post ideas, thanks to long conversations with Jori during my visit with her. She gave me permission to tell a story of hers here, for the benefit of anyone else who has perhaps been in a similar position. She says, "Maybe it'll keep someone from having a similar experience, or … Continue reading IR: Jori’s story

Growing up backwards

Two weeks ago, I was walking along the water in Hallandale Beach, FL, talking with my childhood best friend, Jori. We were comparing notes on our childhoods -- an uncanny thing if you're like me and negative memories get locked up in the subconscious. Both of our families were large, creative, unruly homeschoolers, loving to … Continue reading Growing up backwards