IR: Sex, Divorce, and Good Christian Kids

If a divorced person told you he or she was worried about the wisdom of you marrying your fianc√©[e], would you listen? Or would you disqualify her advice because of her failure to make her marriage work? Even if she did everything right according to the Christian system and listened to her parents, waited to … Continue reading IR: Sex, Divorce, and Good Christian Kids

IR: Agency

One of the things that has been a constant struggle for me, as a woman leaving the world of Christian patriarchy, has been reconciling reality to my learned "right" responses. I have to be gutsy and take charge of my life and heed my personality type and my needs and make sure I'm living in … Continue reading IR: Agency

IR: “Biblical Grounds”

I feel like Stuff Christian Culture Likes is the comedy version of my Immodesty Rail pieces. If you don't know Stephanie Drury's work yet, check it out. Her best work may be her themed Twitter search-and-retweet moments. So, along those lines: stuff Christian culture likes [to do]: Demand inappropriate justification for deeply personal decisions. Maybe … Continue reading IR: “Biblical Grounds”

IR: Modesty, Dignity, and Gnosticism

Okay. Okay. I'm fed up with the annual Summer Modesty Argument On The Interwebz. Here's the rundown: 1) Modesty keeps men's uncontrollable sex drives in check! vs. NO THAT'S RAPE CULTURE 2) God commands modesty to honor his creation, your body! vs. Uh, modesty is a shame thing and that's the result of the fall. … Continue reading IR: Modesty, Dignity, and Gnosticism

IR: Good vs. best: things I wish I learned about dating

When one of my friends starts dating someone exclusively, I like to ask questions, to capture in my head not just the story of how he asked her out or how she warmed up to him, but to understand the essence, the thingness of what makes their new relationship attractive to them. What do you … Continue reading IR: Good vs. best: things I wish I learned about dating

IR: Masturbation, shame, & Christian sexual ethics

My purpose with almost everything I write here is to communicate two things: 1) you are not alone and shame is not from Jesus, and 2) it is possible to develop an authentic theology of the body and live as an embodied sexual being and experience both healthy boundaries and real grace. These two things … Continue reading IR: Masturbation, shame, & Christian sexual ethics

IR: Analyzing “God told me you were the one”

Disclaimer: This is a semi-fictionalized story blended from a couple different real events in my life. All the guys who inspired this are good and well-intended men who grew up a lot afterwards. The point of this is not the guys themselves, but the ideas they assumed to be true because of the Christian culture … Continue reading IR: Analyzing “God told me you were the one”

Immodesty Rail: Anger and Women

I've been stewing on this one for a long time. It's controversial. It's probably something we don't want to admit that we do. But I think it needs to be named and noticed. Within the church and western culture, our¬†assumptions about gender roles create some tensions between the personality of an individual and the ideal … Continue reading Immodesty Rail: Anger and Women

Immodesty Rail: Purity Guilt

Shortly after her breakup with her serious boyfriend of two years, a friend confided in me that she worried that no good Christian guys would be interested in her, because of the things she had done with her ex. "What sorts of things?" I wondered. Her response: nothing more than your average youthful makeout sessions, … Continue reading Immodesty Rail: Purity Guilt

Immodesty Rail: Modesty and Lust

This is a less documented, more anecdotal post, as a result of my discovery a few days ago that all my books on this subject are in storage. I think I did that deliberately because I was tired of reading things that made me angry. So, this post won't have a ton of sources, but … Continue reading Immodesty Rail: Modesty and Lust