The ethics of leaving fundamentalism

Fundamentalism isn't an ideology, it's a habit of thought patterns. Fundamentalism is based in fear. Fear of not being heard, fear of being invalidated, fear of attack, of erasure, of silencing. Fundamentalism can be present in any community regardless of ethics or system of belief. The reason that I started questioning the Christian fundamentalism I … Continue reading The ethics of leaving fundamentalism

Advent, à venir

I'm not really thinking about Christmas much right now. There are too many pieces of life still unresolved this December. I can't see very far ahead--this is driving in fog with my low beams on, not knowing when I'll arrive where I'm going. But I'm still walking forward, or trying to. This past weekend I spent … Continue reading Advent, à venir

Being seen, being heard

"I just don't feel heard," she texted me. "I know, but I hear you," I thought. *** Awkward silence was the norm in the kitchen at one place I worked. You'd slip in for coffee or water or your lunch, and shuffle around each other with cringing politeness and fumble for what you came for in … Continue reading Being seen, being heard

Growing up backwards

Two weeks ago, I was walking along the water in Hallandale Beach, FL, talking with my childhood best friend, Jori. We were comparing notes on our childhoods -- an uncanny thing if you're like me and negative memories get locked up in the subconscious. Both of our families were large, creative, unruly homeschoolers, loving to … Continue reading Growing up backwards

Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: March 18-22

When someone is angry about bad things that happened to them in their church, their anger is not easily accepted by those who have only had positive experiences with Christianity. Before a survivor of spiritual abuse can tell his story, it has to be worked over, combed through, and made palatable for the intended audience. … Continue reading Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week: March 18-22

Strong women

I was sitting with her, pouring out some woeful stories close to my heart. And when I finished, she chuckled and said this: "Weak men are intimidated by strong women. They don't know what to do with them. They're afraid of them." And I've been mulling that over for two weeks. I call myself a … Continue reading Strong women

Dannah Gresh and positive dialogue

When I posted about Dannah Gresh's concerning (and poorly composed) chapel sermon at Grove City College on Tuesday, I figured I wouldn't get much response. I guess I assumed that most Christian leaders are like those I grew up with -- ensconced in their own success and emotionally unmovable when criticized rightly. Pastors and teachers … Continue reading Dannah Gresh and positive dialogue

Ash Wednesday from a bad Anglican

I overslept this morning. I'd set an alarm for 5:15 am so I could make the 7am Ash Wednesday service at my church in the city. But I woke up at my usual time instead. Sometimes waking up is the hardest thing for me, especially when my day-to-day life is in upheaval and so much … Continue reading Ash Wednesday from a bad Anglican

IR: Masturbation, shame, & Christian sexual ethics

My purpose with almost everything I write here is to communicate two things: 1) you are not alone and shame is not from Jesus, and 2) it is possible to develop an authentic theology of the body and live as an embodied sexual being and experience both healthy boundaries and real grace. These two things … Continue reading IR: Masturbation, shame, & Christian sexual ethics