Love, fundamentalism, and endings

“Love and abuse cannot coexist.” - bell hooks. It’s been over a year since I first read bell hook’s masterful treatise on love, All About Love: New Visions.  The book called to and was answered by changes stirring in my heart, little epiphanies cracking the surface of my reality, and it was the catalyst for … Continue reading Love, fundamentalism, and endings

A love letter & an announcement

I've been pretty busy elsewhere this week, but I wanted to drop you a line here to keep you updated on goings-on. Mostly I've been doing a lot of writing. And procrastinating by cooking soup and creating salads and new takes on mac & cheese. A few things to share with you, though. The first is: … Continue reading A love letter & an announcement

The ethics of leaving fundamentalism

Fundamentalism isn't an ideology, it's a habit of thought patterns. Fundamentalism is based in fear. Fear of not being heard, fear of being invalidated, fear of attack, of erasure, of silencing. Fundamentalism can be present in any community regardless of ethics or system of belief. The reason that I started questioning the Christian fundamentalism I … Continue reading The ethics of leaving fundamentalism

You’re doing it wrong, bro

Advance warning #1: Do read up on the concept of privilege a bit before reading this post if you're not already familiar with it. The short definition is, essentially: the power given to you because of your identity by various established cultural structures, or even more simply, the social place of power you don't know … Continue reading You’re doing it wrong, bro

A Confession (a guest post)

Christian fundamentalism and Christian patriarchy hurt men too. I'm sobered and thankful for this guest post by my friend Tim. -h *** I have been avoiding this all day. All week. In one way or another, I've been avoiding this all my life. Some of you may think you know me, but you don't, not … Continue reading A Confession (a guest post)

Update on Sarah

Sarah sent me this update on her school funding situation tonight! She's almost set for college -- just a few things left on her Amazon wishlist, and she leaves on Monday. Thank you to everyone who helped! I'd like to say a giant "Thank you!" to all the wonderful people who have helped me with … Continue reading Update on Sarah

IR: Good vs. best: things I wish I learned about dating

When one of my friends starts dating someone exclusively, I like to ask questions, to capture in my head not just the story of how he asked her out or how she warmed up to him, but to understand the essence, the thingness of what makes their new relationship attractive to them. What do you … Continue reading IR: Good vs. best: things I wish I learned about dating

IR: Christians take dating too seriously

I didn't expect to write two angry-at-abusive-mindset posts back to back, but here I am. This needs to be said. Christians take romantic relationships too seriously. Not even just courtship-only Christians, or virgins-until-wedding-night Christians. Pretty much any sincere Christian who wants to serve God and honor him with how they handle a romantic relationship is … Continue reading IR: Christians take dating too seriously

Immodesty Rail: Anger and Women

I've been stewing on this one for a long time. It's controversial. It's probably something we don't want to admit that we do. But I think it needs to be named and noticed. Within the church and western culture, our assumptions about gender roles create some tensions between the personality of an individual and the ideal … Continue reading Immodesty Rail: Anger and Women