I need feminism because Mean Girls is 10 years old and my sister has a concussion

This week is the 10th anniversary of¬†Mean Girls. This week a girl in my sister's school beat her up, hitting her face and head into a locker and giving her a concussion. This week I raged and cried over beer with a friend after work because I'm nearly 3,000 miles away from home and can't … Continue reading I need feminism because Mean Girls is 10 years old and my sister has a concussion

A Confession (a guest post)

Christian fundamentalism and Christian patriarchy hurt men too. I'm sobered and thankful for this guest post by my friend Tim. -h *** I have been avoiding this all day. All week. In one way or another, I've been avoiding this all my life. Some of you may think you know me, but you don't, not … Continue reading A Confession (a guest post)

IR: Good vs. best: things I wish I learned about dating

When one of my friends starts dating someone exclusively, I like to ask questions, to capture in my head not just the story of how he asked her out or how she warmed up to him, but to understand the essence, the thingness of what makes their new relationship attractive to them. What do you … Continue reading IR: Good vs. best: things I wish I learned about dating

Why it matters: picking the lock of Christian patriarchy

Yesterday the Feminisms Fest was all about why we're feminists. Today's question is: why does it matter? I read Emily Joy Allison's post this morning about how feminism matters to her because of her younger sisters, and chuckled, because she basically wrote my post for me. But there's a difference in our stories, and I'm … Continue reading Why it matters: picking the lock of Christian patriarchy

Strong women

I was sitting with her, pouring out some woeful stories close to my heart. And when I finished, she chuckled and said this: "Weak men are intimidated by strong women. They don't know what to do with them. They're afraid of them." And I've been mulling that over for two weeks. I call myself a … Continue reading Strong women

IR: Masturbation, shame, & Christian sexual ethics

My purpose with almost everything I write here is to communicate two things: 1) you are not alone and shame is not from Jesus, and 2) it is possible to develop an authentic theology of the body and live as an embodied sexual being and experience both healthy boundaries and real grace. These two things … Continue reading IR: Masturbation, shame, & Christian sexual ethics

IR: Christians take dating too seriously

I didn't expect to write two angry-at-abusive-mindset posts back to back, but here I am. This needs to be said. Christians take romantic relationships too seriously. Not even just courtship-only Christians, or virgins-until-wedding-night Christians. Pretty much any sincere Christian who wants to serve God and honor him with how they handle a romantic relationship is … Continue reading IR: Christians take dating too seriously

IR: Analyzing “God told me you were the one”

Disclaimer: This is a semi-fictionalized story blended from a couple different real events in my life. All the guys who inspired this are good and well-intended men who grew up a lot afterwards. The point of this is not the guys themselves, but the ideas they assumed to be true because of the Christian culture … Continue reading IR: Analyzing “God told me you were the one”

Immodesty Rail: Anger and Women

I've been stewing on this one for a long time. It's controversial. It's probably something we don't want to admit that we do. But I think it needs to be named and noticed. Within the church and western culture, our¬†assumptions about gender roles create some tensions between the personality of an individual and the ideal … Continue reading Immodesty Rail: Anger and Women